I don’t usually like to call a movie bizarre unless it’s really, really out there. If you want a qualifier or a point of reference, David Lynch and Alejandro Jodorowski movies are not bizarre. So don’t take it lightly when I say that Crossroads is a bizarre movie. If you watched Showgirls and thought “How am I supposed to take this seriously?” then Crossroads is going to cave your skull in, because you have no idea where this movie is going.
On its surface, it’s just a teenage road film. Kind of a comedy, kind of a drama. Brittany … sorry, Britney… Spears plays Lucy, a smart high school girl with good grades and a winning attitude. In her childhood, she was friends with Kit and Mimi, and they buried a wish box one night and promised to be best friends forever. Instead, Kit became the popularity queen, and Mimi became a pregnant piece of garbage.
When it’s finally time to graduate, Lucy convinces Kit and Mimi to dig up the wish box, and they suddenly realize what fools they’ve all been. They decide to be BFFs again and take a road trip so they can each fulfill their wishes: Lucy wants to see her absent mother again, Kit wants to get married, and Mimi wants to go to California. Naturally, they all agree to set out to make their wishes come true and oh yeah, also let’s go get a record deal. At this point, the movie is lulling you into a false sense of security.
What follows should have been innocent enough, but instead we get car rides with convicted killers, karaoke contests, parents calling you a mistake, and rape babies. Yeah, there’s a RAPE BABY. You’ll be left in awe of this movie. I was. I thought “why are we watching this, I don’t want to,” but then it all became clear. Crossroads is on par with Cool As Ice, although it takes everything to the next level.
It’s worth watching, and I’d be willing to have it in my collection. There’s a Rifftrax version, but I haven’t seen it.