Gymkata Poster
Beware the pantsless man with the alabaster legs.

Gymkata is the story of just how far into lunacy the Cold War was able to push people.  See, the Special Intelligence Agency wants to build a satellite monitoring system for the U.S. in a small, unheard of country called Parmistan.  They can’t, though, because when foreigners go to Parmistan, they’re made to compete in some wackadoo triathlon thing, full of obstacles and people killing you.  Obviously, the only way to win such a competition is to spend the afternoon training an Olympic gymnast in martial arts.  When you combine martial arts with gymnastics, you get… GYMKATA.  Of course, Gymkata would only really work if you had a bunch of gymnastic equipment available to your Gymkata practitioner.

Gymkata Jonathan Cabot
For better or worse, here’s your protagonist.

Fortunately, Parmistan is built for the plucky, young, Gymkata-brandishing Jonathan Cabot, with everything he needs to fully utilize his ridiculous bastardization of two physical activities.  As an added bonus, his dad, who went missing, went missing in Parmistan while working for the Special Intelligence Agency!  It’s the perfect… timely…  yeah.  Everything beyond what I’ve described here is nutty.  If the premise wasn’t enough for you to watch this movie, it also contains great dialog, great fight scenes, a town full of insane villagers, AND I am mostly sure that this movie is the inspiration for Resident Evil 4.

Gymkata Parmistan
Ubisoft’s Parmistan is a gymnast’s playground.

Generally, Gymkata is not well received, but I like it, and I recommend having a copy of it in your collection.  It was released on DVD after winning an internet poll in 2006!  That’s pretty exciting.

Edit (2013.Sep.08): There’s also an Earwolf track with Michael Showalter.

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