Munchie

Munchie VHS Cover
You can’t make this stuff up.

Munchie is an overlooked gem from the early ’90s. I only found out about it because Netflix. It’s strange that this movie isn’t more well known, because it’s pretty great. Allegedly, it’s a sequel to the Gremlins-knockoff, Munchies, but like Troll 2, it’s not an actual sequel. The story follows a dumb little kid named Gage (played by Ellen Page) that everyone hates, because he sucks so bad and he’s dumb and lame. He’s so lame and stupid that even his dad bailed on this wiener kid, leaving him alone with his mom, Loni Anderson, whose career was really going places at the time, with this and 3 Ninjas High Noon at Mega Mountain. Gage’s mom barely tolerates him, and she’s dating a pedophile who makes somewhat veiled declarations to Gage about his true intentions.

Munchie is horrible.
Jesus Christ. Sweet dreams, kids.

Gage is also in love with Love Hewitt, who you may know better in her final form, Jennifer Love Hewitt.  This was her first movie.  Unfortunately for him, she doesn’t even know he exists (according to him, despite plenty of evidence to the contrary).  Fortunately for him, Gage is about to make a magical new friend named Munchie, the shaky, burn-victim step son of Billy Bob, the bear from ShowBiz Pizza.  Munchie is horrible to look at, and apparently can’t use his powers to fix his face.  Also, his magic sucks.  If you wish for a pizza, Munchie can’t just make a pizza happen, he has to steal it from a physical location, and make it fly across town to you.  By the time you get it, it’s cold and dirty, and if it’s raining, soggy.  He’s just this horrible, gross little thing that invades your life, but manages to get you to keep him around by “granting” your wishes.  Like, if you want a car, he’ll just jack a car for you, and cap the owner if things get out of control, leaving you holding the evidence.  He won’t change the plates or clean up the blood or anything.

Munchies proposed father Billy Bob
Billy Bob fell asleep with a lit cigarette, setting their trailer on fire and leaving Munchie horribly burned.

If that weren’t enough, he’s voiced by the late, great Dom DeLuise, making the character about as perfect as he can get.  So, Munchie gets Gage into trouble, and Gage’s mom’s pedophile boyfriend starts figuring out that a magical… imp thing exists, so Gage has to enlist the help of his friend, Professor Cruikshank, who is also a pedophile.  In the end, Munchie hijacks a plane.  Seriously.  I highly recommend this one, especially in a group setting.  There’s a sequel, Munchie Strikes Back, but good luck finding it.  Based on the cover, it looks like it’s worth a go- hopefully, I’ll be able to report on it soon.  Ace Mask and Angus Scrimm are in both of these!

Get it on Amazon for way too much money.

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