When I started this, I thought I’d post a movie every Sunday, but at this rate, it’s going to take a year to get through my backlog, and the list is growing in the meantime- so, for the rest of the year, Bad Movies will be posted every Wednesday and Sunday. I also added a page (tab at the top) listing each movie, just in case you’re too lazy or dumb to figure out categories or tags.
Today’s movie is Santa with Muscles. That’s the title they came up with. A 1996 family comedy starring Hulk Hogan and Mila Kunis when she was maybe 12 years old. Hogan plays an insane, dangerous billionaire who gets amnesia while fleeing from the police and ends up thinking he’s Santa.
Meanwhile, Ed Begley Jr. is an evil scientist with a triumvirate of nigh-unless super-powered henchman (a dominatrix, a geologist, and a stinkbomb man), and he’s trying to take over an orphanage (with very few orphans in it) so he can harvest the magic crystals hidden in a secret cave beneath said orphanage. Naturally, Santa with muscles needs to save they day, and gradually learn to be a less insane, dangerous billionaire.
I discovered this film by accident, and hadn’t heard of it until I started looking for bad movies to watch. Hogan has Ricky Caldwell eyebrows, the acting is bad, Clint Howard is here… it’s got a lot of the right bad ingredients to be worth watching at least once, but you probably don’t need it in your collection. Watch it here, I guess: