Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

Superman 4 Moon Fight
Look at them fighting on the Moon.

Remember when they used to make Superman movies all the time, and none of them were reboots?  It was a golden age, of sorts.  Like Batman and Robin, which is also a 4th movie (and the last one we would see for a while), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace shits all over whatever dignity the previous films had.  Unlike Batman and Robin, though, this movie does not drag on forever, and the ridiculousness of it all makes it fairly enjoyable.  This probably has a lot to do with the fact that Golan-Globus produced it.  Hooray for Golan-Globus.  Some of their other movies are already on my list, if you are just now tuning in.

Superman 4 Mariel in Space
Ridding the Earth of Mariel Hemingway once and for all.

Needless to say, Golan-Globus Golan-Globused the hell out of this movie.  This is apparent even in the opening credits, which take up about 20 minutes of the film’s run time and look really cheap.  The special effects are outstanding(ly bad), Superman suffers from radiation sickness (but gets a 1-Up), he moves the Moon without any consequences here on Earth, and Gene Hackman is Lex Luthor.  He is also the voice of NUCLEAR MAN.  Where to even begin…  Superman gets called out by a little boy for not doing something about all of the nuclear weapons in the world, so to save face, he mans-up and catches all nuclear missiles in a giant space net and hurls them into the sun.  Meanwhile, Lex Luthor breaks out of jail thanks to Jon Cryer, steals some of Superman’s hair, jerks off on it, and launches it into the sun, thus creating a fully formed, fully conscious, fully COSTUMED Nuclear Man.  Thanks to the hair, he has all of Superman’s power, and thanks to the semen, he has Lex Luthor’s voice.  Lex also made it so that if Nuclear Man does not have a SINGLE ray of sunlight touching him, he powers down into hibernation mode.  Sure, why not.

Check out this deleted scene:

Incredible, right?  They may as well have just left this in the movie, who cares?  This clip features the Nuclear Man prototype, which they took out of the movie entirely, but the final cut really isn’t much better than this scene.  Superman repairs the Great Wall of China with his Great Wall Fixo Vision, and Nuclear Man is able to make people float around in the air for no reason, plus both of their capes flap around in space like fabric would do in space (it wouldn’t), and this is on top of Mariel Hemingway in space, lazy fight scenes, and Superman getting rid of Lois Lane’s amnesia and then giving it back to her.

Superman 4 Vasedick
Supes shows off his new cod-piece.

Superman IV: The Quest for Peace gets wrong enough to be amusing, and is mercifully short thanks to 45 minutes of god-knows-what being cut from it.  This probably saved it from ending up like our next movie…

Get it on Amazon.

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