Tiptoes Couch Legs
Yeah, that looks real. (said without sarcasm)

Oh, Tiptoes.  This movie is a special sort of mess.  It’s not quite a Perfect Storm, and it’s very much unlike most movies anyone has ever made.  People do not seem to like this movie.  Reviews on Amazon and IMDB tend to rate it low.  I love it, though.  So much so, I bought it on DVD.  You may not want to go this route… Tiptoes isn’t going to be for everyone, but it’s got this great combination of elements that make it difficult to resist.  Gary Oldman plays a dwarf.  Not a Middle Earth dwarf, I mean a real one, like Peter Dinklage and Michael J. Anderson.  Both of them are in this movie, too.

Tiptoes Long Arms
If he rests his arms, they would touch the ground.

Gary Oldman is a dwarf named Rolfe.  He’s from a family of dwarfs.  Everyone in his family is a dwarf, except for his twin brother, Matthew McConaughey.  This isn’t a comedy, mind you, it’s… I don’t know, a drama, I guess.  Oldman is clearly older than McConaughey and Oldman clearly isn’t a dwarf.  McConaughey gets his artist girlfriend, Kate Beckinsale, pregnant, and has to reveal that he’s from a family of dwarfs.  It doesn’t go well, and Beckinsale ends up spending a lot of time with Oldman, learning all about dwarfism and the accompanying lifestyle, while Dinklage and Patricia Arquette alternate between having sex and fighting in the background.

Tiptoes The Wedding Kiss
Th-is is how peo-ple ki-ss.

So.  I mean, that’s the premise.  You can see a couple of screen shots here.  Tiptoes is what it is.  Silly, mostly.  It tries to be serious, but the dialog doesn’t really carry that across, and there are several points in the movie where it’s obvious that Oldman is just on his knees, or sitting in a couch with stuffed dwarf legs sitting in front of him.  Decide for yourself.  Tosh covers the whole movie here, and I just listened to it- he talks about everything you need to know about the movie, every point that needs to be brought up, so listen to Tosh, then decide for yourself.  I’ve watched it 3 times already.

Get it on Amazon.

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